My Blinking Eye

Several weeks ago when the weather was still nice and warm, my boyfriend took me out on the lake in his parent’s boat. I took my shoes off, planning to sit back on the boat and relax. However, I soon found out that he was a huge lake fan, which is a little bit intimidating for someone who rides horses instead of Sea-doos. I wanted to impress him, so I chose to be a team player and participate. My intention to merely attempt wake boarding as a first-timer turned into a fifteen-minute long display of athleticism. Girls can do whatever boys can, right? Well when Chris and I were packing up to leave that evening, he knelt down and began to tie my shoelaces for me. He looked up and commented that no one could tie converse like him, as his left cheek forced a side smile. Today, I have been thinking about Christopher and the night at the lake when he tied my shoes. After a long day, he wanted to take care of me, show me affection, and be kind to me. He wanted to serve me in the simplest of ways.

This afternoon, I was visiting with a dear friend in her room. We were catching one another up on the latest news of our personal lives. I began rambling about school and family. The next thing I knew, I felt myself giving in to emotion. Tears welled in my eyes, but they didn’t run down my cheek. It was almost like, even though I was crying, I was telling myself that there was nothing to cry about. “Everything will be fine. I don’t need to burden other people with my trifling problems.” I blinked, and the tears formed a path down my face. One small trail revealing the evidence of suppression. At that moment, I realized that Kayla was my blinking eye. The catalyst for conversation. And the person kneeling to tie my shoelaces.

As we try to catch what the world throws at us, we become so exhausted that apathy begins to consume our thoughts, ignoring problems seems easier, and depending on others appears unnecessary. But sometimes we need to rely on another person, a close friend or family member. Sometimes we need to just talk and let someone else provide an opinion, some insight, or words of wisdom. Sometimes we need to simply let others care. Sometimes those we love can tie our shoelaces better than we can ourselves.