An audience with Shelby's face.

If someone ever begins a sentence with “God has called me to …,” accountability immediately looms over his or her head. I look at this person and think, “Oh, nice going. Now you’ve really got some big shoes to fill.” They instantly become responsible for following through with what God has articulated to them because others have heard it spoken.

Until recently, I have always considered this spiritual suicide because personal conversations with the Lord are now out on the table for everyone to see and criticize. I have kept God’s call for my life to myself because I feel like it’s expected that outsiders would question that call. I’ve been afraid they would judge me, question my motives, or have little faith that I will follow through for Him. But the truth is, I have to verbalize what the Lord has instructed me to do. If I don’t, I am being disobedient. Silence basically presents the truth that I do not trust His plans and that I believe they are not good enough to share. The dreams I have hidden in my heart for the past year coincides with God’s dreams for my future. And that is very exciting; however, I am so scared because He has called me to be a writer.

This was affirmed for me as I stood staring at the faces of 280 teenagers at the Northwest Oklahoma district church camp in Tishomingo, Oklahoma. The speaker asked all the counselors, leaders, and staff to come forward and be willing to pray with any kids that came to the front. I hadn’t formed any close relationships with the campers yet because it was only Tuesday night, so I was really worried that no one would ask me to pray with them, and I would look stupid standing there by myself in front of all those people. Ridiculous concern, I know, but I began praying, “Lord, I feel like I won’t have a lot of kids wanting to pray with me, but if someone does need me, please give me the exact prayer that they need to hear.” Right then, I felt a tug on my arm; Shelby, a gorgeous 15-year-old girl from my home church, stood in front of me and said, “Morgan, will you pray for me?” Tears filled my eyes. I wrapped my arms around her, hugged her as tight as I could, and began praying into her ear. That night I whispered a prayer into her ear; I talked to God about protecting her and taking away all her fears about entering high school as a freshman. I asked Him to give her guidance and direction to be a light for Jesus in her school. I asked Him to bless her with spiritual discernment when boys started asking her out on dates. The words kept spilling out of me, and I don’t remember most of what I said.

The next day, Roxanne, the wife of Shelby’s youth pastor, stopped me after breakfast and expressed how much I had impacted Shelby the night before with my prayer. She said that Shelby had cried about how much I had helped and comforted her. She looked me directly in the eyes and said, “Even after what’s recently happened, you have found a way to encourage her.” Having no idea what she was talking about, Roxanne began to share how Shelby’s mom had passed away just two weeks before camp. Not only was I emotionally torn apart at that moment, I was speechless. I was humbled. And I knew that God used me the night before. And ministering to young girls was exactly what God wanted me to do for the rest of my life.

That Tuesday night, when I called upon the Lord, He answered my little prayer. He made sure that I was available to give all my attention to Shelby and Shelby only. He prepared my heart and mind. He gave me the words to say, words directly from Him meant only for her. As I cried out to Him, I was simply an instrument for a young girl who needed someone to relate to her, someone to love her, and someone who would hold her tight and not let go.

This past year, I have had actual dreams where I’ve been standing on stage in front of packed auditoriums of young women presenting a novel I’d written that expressed God’s unconditional love for the female heart. Now, and in the future, I will do whatever is necessary to fulfill God’s plan for me. I will write books, articles, and notes. I will drive, fly, and walk. I will read, prepare, plan, and speak. The desires of my heart and the topics I am so passionate about have been ingrained into my personality and my core for a purpose. Yes, I am afraid, but I know that my fear is no longer an issue, and that I will not allow Satan a foothold to hold me back. This is God’s plan. It is no longer in my hands. It’s not up to me. He has called me to be a writer, so it doesn’t matter if I don’t think I’m good enough or capable to achieve something of this magnitude. He will provide the material; I just pray that everything I write is directly from the voice of God, just like Shelby’s prayer. That night, I made a decision to embrace God's plan for me. I made a decision to take advantage of life's opportunity. I tied my shoelaces.